Just for a second Sean thought of Christian--the wine at the awards two years ago, brushing his fingers to Sean's lips just like he'd promised, and Sean leaning forward to suck the wine off in front of Christian's wife, in front of the whole damn party, and the way he'd drawn back laughing as though it were all a big joke when in fact he'd been burning inside at the look in Christian's eyes. There was a pang there too--he missed him.
This was what he wanted. He wanted to not have to hide himself; it wasn't just the thrill of being able to do this in public, it was because it was perfectly normal to want to be with the one you loved and have everyone know about it and not have to keep the truth away like some dirty secret. Hidden like old pornography in a shoebox under the bed.
He reached up, and took Viggo's face in both hands and pulled him down and kissed him hard and longingly, crushing his nose against the other man's face and pressing his eyes shut and smushing their lips together until it hurt, and when all that was done he uncurled, and moved his hands down to Viggo's shirt to fix his collar and tie. He stroked Viggo's jaw.
"I don't know how you do it. We ain't even got in there yet and you're ruffled like a street-bum."
Changing the subject, gathering his strength through familiarising himself again with Viggo's chest, smoothing him out again, pulling himself up to his feet.
"We both have faith in this thing. S'all it needs, I hope. Half those bloody critics were kneehigh to a fucking grasshopper when I were in Chatterley, but so help me if they don't all want me when we get out of here."
It was cocky, he knew, but there was a certain vindictive pleasure in knowing that he - at the age he was now - was smouldering enough to melt the loins of every man and woman in the audience more than half his age, and Odysseus was more than man enough to do it. They didn't make men like they had in those myths; men brave and strong and powerful enough to take on gods and monsters and kings, to conquer the impossible, but Sean thought he and Viggo were taking on the impossible now, and it meant he had to have Odysseus' courage.
Odysseus' courage. Was that what he was missing here? He glanced at Viggo and smiled, and kissed his temple, then reached into his pocket to dump a fifty in the towel-man's tray.
"I'll wear Odysseus' armour," he said. "If you can stand it me."
no subject
This was what he wanted. He wanted to not have to hide himself; it wasn't just the thrill of being able to do this in public, it was because it was perfectly normal to want to be with the one you loved and have everyone know about it and not have to keep the truth away like some dirty secret. Hidden like old pornography in a shoebox under the bed.
He reached up, and took Viggo's face in both hands and pulled him down and kissed him hard and longingly, crushing his nose against the other man's face and pressing his eyes shut and smushing their lips together until it hurt, and when all that was done he uncurled, and moved his hands down to Viggo's shirt to fix his collar and tie. He stroked Viggo's jaw.
"I don't know how you do it. We ain't even got in there yet and you're ruffled like a street-bum."
Changing the subject, gathering his strength through familiarising himself again with Viggo's chest, smoothing him out again, pulling himself up to his feet.
"We both have faith in this thing. S'all it needs, I hope. Half those bloody critics were kneehigh to a fucking grasshopper when I were in Chatterley, but so help me if they don't all want me when we get out of here."
It was cocky, he knew, but there was a certain vindictive pleasure in knowing that he - at the age he was now - was smouldering enough to melt the loins of every man and woman in the audience more than half his age, and Odysseus was more than man enough to do it. They didn't make men like they had in those myths; men brave and strong and powerful enough to take on gods and monsters and kings, to conquer the impossible, but Sean thought he and Viggo were taking on the impossible now, and it meant he had to have Odysseus' courage.
Odysseus' courage. Was that what he was missing here? He glanced at Viggo and smiled, and kissed his temple, then reached into his pocket to dump a fifty in the towel-man's tray.
"I'll wear Odysseus' armour," he said. "If you can stand it me."